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mental health poem by terri klein womens wellness circle jill hewlett

A New Kind of Partnership

Because May is mental health awareness month, I feel that it is essential to share this poem about the overthinking mind with you. My poem, A New Kind of Partnership, speaks to the importance of building and strengthening a new and healthier relationship with your mind. It has been proven that a trained mind can quiet an overthinking mind.

It greets me first every morning

And also tucks me into bed

It’s my constant companion

The voice within my head

I set every intention to lose it

To give it wings—to set it free

Yet it always chooses to stay

And to inhabit ALL of me

My overthinking mind is very much like yours

I’m at its beck and call

It orders, commands, and loves to take charge

It’s not a program I would ever choose to install

But evolution deemed this necessary

To help me to survive

Yet my wants are so much greater

So now I’m choosing also to thrive

I’ve had enough of my unhealthy stories

I’ve had enough of “mind-made” me

There is a greater vision

That my future self can see

Beyond the overthinking

And all of my false truths

Beyond the limiting beliefs

That still remain with me from my youth

Yes, I’ve suffered because I’ve been bullied

Yet it is I who am to blame

It is my self-created “stories of struggle”

That constrict me time and again

By the way, this realization

Took years to unfold

And I can promise you, without question

That it is worth its weight in gold

There is nothing more valuable

Than a peaceful mind and an open heart

Mind training is immeasurable

And it’s the only place to start

But it has to become a daily practice

To rewrite your script and to rewire

For you are teaching your miraculous brain

A completely new way to fire

Remember, you’ve been using specific words

Thinking specific thoughts, and behaving one way

You’ve developed habits, good and bad

That you’ve been living and supporting each day

It’s the inner work that will lead you

To overall ease and well-being

There is nothing more transformative

And ultimately freeing

Than rewriting your most important stories

And creating new versions of self

And learning just how to prioritize

Your state of mental health

I’ve stopped needing to fix every part of me

And everything I deem wrong in another

I spend less time wanting for life to be different

And so I’m a much better person and mother

And so whatever life may throw my way

I now have a tremendous toolkit with a golden key

One that I can choose to open

As needed—just for me

So yes, it still greets me first every morning,

And also tucks me into bed

It remains my constant companion

But it’s a new and improved voice within my head

Because I have learned how to manage it

And I continue to train it well

My mind and I have developed a new partnership

With a new and enriched life story to tell

You too, can learn how to do this

Your trained mind can be at your beck and call

It will be kinder, gentler, and more mindful

A program you would gladly choose to install!

We have a duty to evolve the brain

And a very real obligation

To change collective consciousness

For every future generation

Essential? Absolutely

Possible and doable? Oh yes

The alternative…it’s not pretty

Underlying unhappiness and chronic stress

So let’s make this happen—

One person at a time

The responsibility needs to be shared

For it is both yours and mine

Sincerely,

Terri Klein

Author, Speaker, Coach

 www.newlife-chapterone.com

April 30, 2019/0 Comments/by Jill Hewlett

self-care women's wellness circle toronto york region

WHY PRIORITIZE YOUR SELF-CARE?

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What is self-care? The Oxford English Dictionary defines self-care as “The practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s well-being and happiness, in particular during times of stress.” So, it’s exactly what it sounds like: taking care of oneself. It’s an activity or practice that is embraced solely for the purpose of one’s well-being.

But what is a practice? It’s the actual application of an idea, belief, or method; as opposed to simply theorizing about to it. We have all heard the term self-care, but how many of us have a practice around it? Something we intentionally incorporate into our lives.

We all get caught up in our daily lives of work, kids, relationships, errands, aging parents, and more, so much so, that we often leave little time for ourselves. Mornings usually consist of some version of; hopping in and out of the shower, slapping on makeup in the car, getting everyone else out the door and eating breakfast (if we eat at all) while sitting at our desk. We’re very busy. There’s no time for self-care then.

Evenings are no better with supper, which perhaps you pick up on the way home, homework and dealing with the problems that the day has delivered to the rest of the family. Then you fall exhausted into bed. Again, no time there either.

Even the idea of self-care can feel indulgent when there are people relying on you. If you’re in this camp, and the very thought of putting yourself first makes you feel uncomfortable and selfish, think about when you are on a plane and the flight attendants go through the safety drill. They always say that if you are travelling with small children you should put your own mask on first. Why do they say that? It’s simple, you cannot care for others until you look after yourself.

What’s a Girl to Do?

Life is a whirlwind and there is clearly no time for self care, right?

But here’s the thing; if we don’t find the time or intentionally make the effort to care for ourselves we can become worn out, lack energy, lose perspective and be plagued by physical and mental ailments.

While it seems like there’s no time, what if I told you that by taking just five minutes a day for yourself, you can amplify your ability to accomplish everything else in your life. Five minutes spent on you will calm your mind, which allows you to approach everything else from a more abundant and balanced place.

Some Suggestions for Quick Five Minute Self Care Boosters:

Drink a cup of warm water upon rising
Go for a walk-in nature
Lie in Savasana for 5 minutes and just breathe
Express gratitude for who and what is in your life (gratitude has been proven to give both the giver and receiver the same heart-centered lift)
Dance around your living room to your favorite song
Meditate

Once you have incorporated five minutes of self-care into your life you can look for other opportunities to build on your practice.

Go to a women’s retreat weekend
Visit an old friend
Sign up for yoga or Tai Chi classes
Go to a Women’s Wellness Circle near you
Take a course or class in something that interests you
Read a good book

If you need some ideas on how to approach change and incorporate your own self-care practice, check out last month’s blog by Karen Armstrong.

Make Self-Care A Priority

Of all the changes you resolve to make in your life for the year ahead, make taking care of yourself your number one goal. The investment in yourself will give you an amazing rate of return. You will feel calmer and more ready to tackle the ups and downs of life. Your friends and family will also benefit from having a better you. And the calmness and grounding that self-care can give you showers out around you and can impact the lives of strangers. When you feel balanced and good it is easier to be kind to others, share your beautiful smile with strangers, and make their day a bit brighter.

Whether you do five minutes of self-care everyday or something else that feeds your soul, it doesn’t matter. It is about what works best for you, as long as you remember it is a practice and not just something you do when you’re exhausted.

If we think about it this way – self-care is not indulgence, it is a gift you give yourself and everyone around you.

Make today the day you start to care for yourself with the same love, kindness and forgiveness that you give to others. You are worth it.

To Your Health and Wellbeing,

Jill Erridge Certified Personal Trainer and Coach,

Active Aging Specialist.

February 1, 2019/1 Comment/by Jill Hewlett

January – Time for a New Story

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It’s 2019… a New Year with new energy and possibility. Maybe it’s time to create a New Story? Now, I don’t mean become an author and write a novel, instead I’m referring to creating a new personal story. After all, we are the authors of our own lives.

The challenge is, as with many things, humans are basically lazy. We fall into habits, and these become who we are and what we do. They operate at an unconscious level that feels normal to us. If these habits are healthy and serve our highest good then congratulate yourself for a job well done. Many times though, we have outgrown our personal story. We just don’t realize it.

When do we need to change our story?

If our lives are draining our energy or leaving us feeling like we have no options, then it’s time for a change. Let me share an example. A couple of years ago I was sharing with a friend, once again, about the many unfinished projects at my house. These projects and plans had been on my “To Do” list for many years and, though I am married to a contractor, they weren’t getting completed. We made the same old joke, “if you’re married to the shoemaker, your shoes will always need repair.”

I felt stuck, sad and frustrated. I made up all kinds of excuses in my head for why they never got accomplished, including that they weren’t important to my husband or that he just didn’t love me enough. I’m sure you get the picture. The difference this time was my friend, who had known me for many years. She’d(or he’d) heard this old story many times, but this time asked if I was ready to change it.

What did that mean? I couldn’t think of any solutions or options as long as everything felt outside of my control. But who ever said that just because my husband is the contractor he’s the only one who can move the projects forward? We started to brainstorm all the possible things I could do to create the end results I was looking for. My energy shifted instantly, new ideas began to stream in. I got excited and felt empowered. In that moment, I was releasing my old story and creating a new one!

It sounds so simple, however as I mentioned above, these thought processes are typically operating below the surface and feel completely normal. The trick is taking time to ask ourselves what we believe is true about whatever area in our life we want to make changes in. What have we been telling ourselves about these areas?

How Do You Make A Change?

Here are thirteen tips that one person shared when they decided to rewrite their life story:

Look at who you are surrounded by
Become a podcast junky
Start creating something online
Turn your media habits upside down
Invest in your health
Bounce your way to a new story
Be ruthless with cutting out negative self-talk
Accept you’ll never know every answer
Travel the world
Quit your underwhelming job
Use the internet to reach out
Experiment with giving
Give up the perfection game

These suggestions are things he picked up from reading about famous game changers. They are big-picture, shift-your-life-story items. Some may resonate and others may not. But they will get your imagination flowing.

Start with one area you wish to have different results in. How can you shift into an empowered mindset?

It’s a New Year, bringing new energy. Why not join us at a local Women’s Wellness Circle if you live in close proximity to one? The presenters who show up each month share their story with us on how they ended up doing what they are doing. They are always incredible and always inspiring. If distance is an issue, keep tuned into this blog for more rich content moving forward. We are more when we share together.

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