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At some point in my twenties, I forgot who I was. I’m not saying I sustained some kind of traumatic brain injury and ended up with amnesia. I just seemed to lose touch with my true Self.

If I take the time for introspection, I can tell you almost exactly when it happened. However,  this is like our first date. I’m not going to divulge all of my deepest darkest secrets!

It doesn’t really matter why though, not for the purpose of this story. What matters is what happened next, because it’s a pattern I’ve seen over and over again in friends, colleagues, and clients.

Once I lost touch with my Self, I began to let other people’s ideas and beliefs take root about who I was “supposed” to be. I was swept up in the “shoulds” of life.

I should work towards a promotion.
I should find a boyfriend.
I should get married.
I should buy a house.
I should

You get the drift.

There’s a progress to life that, as a society, we seem to expect of everyone. However, trying to squeeze myself into those expectations meant I was not only slowly squeezing out what remained of my Self, but I was also lying to everyone.

The lying was unintentional, of course, but it was still a lie. I was people pleasing, and people pleasers are the best liars. Unfortunately, when you’ve been lying about who you are, unintentional or not, people get hurt. I got hurt. And hurt people hurt other people.

Fast forward a little over a decade, and I found my Self again thanks to a renewed yoga practice (that led to yoga teacher training, that led to returning to school for holistic practitioner training). However, in finding my Self again, I discovered I had made decisions in the past that did not serve me well.

In 2015, I turned my entire life upside down, and you guessed it, people got hurt.

During that time, I can’t sufficiently express in words, just how important it was for me to have the support of a strong, understanding community of loved ones. There was a boat load of shame and guilt that came along with my decision to change my life, even though I knew in my heart it was the best decision for everyone.

Knowing I had a community of support, a group of people who were willing to simply hold space for me, kept me moving forward through one of the most painful times in my life. That community carried me through, and they helped me become the stronger, more resilient, truer expression of me.

Thanks to their support, I found the courage to buy my yoga studio. I found the self-care tools that work for me, and I found my higher purpose of Mindset Coaching for Joy + Abundance.

There is no one right path for everyone. We need to be able to explore, to try, and to fail or succeed, knowing we’re surrounded by a community that will offer us grace – even when we struggle to give ourselves grace.

This is one of the reasons I resonate so deeply with the Women’s Wellness Circles. Not only are we gifted with new wellness experiences each month, but the community that’s built is exactly the kind of community we all need to be surrounded by.

By Michelle Robson

There is a common and shared thread of energy that ties the tapestry of women together; our visions are woven in the same fabric

Women encircling women and valuing each other and everyone’s contributions; with acceptance, without judgment

A safe haven to express our thoughts, release a tear, receive a hug and give a hug; it’s in that calm and nurturing space that a shifts take place.

—–

Since discovering Women’s Wellness Circles a year and a half ago, I have grown to understand the importance of circles of women coming together. Women have gathered in circles since the beginning of time. It empowers us to delve deeper into ourselves, learn, grow and speak our truth!

Thoughts, ideas and opinions send out vibrations of energy that effect us all. It is a powerful transformation for women who share that sacred space with other women, and it ripples out into our families and communities.

Thoughts that are repressed or dreams that are forgotten are slowly brought forward to the light to be nurtured and celebrated or acknowledged and released.

The world is changing, there is a definite shift and women are gathering together to assist in this revolutionary movement.

During circle, gifted presenters from many Holistic realms share their wisdom with us, and we take from them what serves us and leave the rest. It’s in those moments of sharing, role modeling and possibilities that we discover the women we are, and who we can become.

Dr. Daniel Amen, the author of (Unleash the Power of the Female Brain), stated that “Women are health leaders in their families and communities and they typically reach out for help and community support.”

 Our Women’s Wellness Circles offer this perfect opportunity to keep abreast of health and wellness alternatives and integrate them into our lives.

Life has many stages, with plateaus to rest and breathe, and then we continue to move forward sometimes feeling challenged, other times with open hearts and inquisitive minds.

In this beautiful circle of feminine energy, we can more powerfully live into the present moment, connect with the universe and find our inner joy.

The sisterhood of circle grows stronger as every woman sees every other woman as an equal part of the (whole) or circle, regardless of age or stage of life.

Nurturing ourselves with friendship and laughter builds self-esteem that we draw from and inspire in one another.

The value of circle is in the undeniable support and inspiration given and received. Change is inevitable, but the connection shared is innate and runs deep.

In our sacred place of Women’s Wellness Circles, you can expect an environment of inclusivity and acceptance, and within that freedom of space you grow – mind, body and soul!

Women are nurturers by nature. When we devote time to ourselves, in developing a strong inner life; our outer life reflects it.

With the same love and support you give your projects, colleagues, friends, family and/or children, there comes a time when the focus is to find a way to morph into a newer authentic version of yourself.

Together we can celebrate our worth, life changes and self discovery.

Its right and good for women to share, connect and be woven into this tapestry  called life, represented by Circle.

My response: “I’m in.”

By Debbie Armstrong
https://www.facebook.com/WWCbarrieinnisfil/

This year it seems as though there was no Spring. The Winter was an epic marathon as we braced ourselves from the cold. Yet as the school year draws to a close, our thoughts dare to turn to summer.

Those of us parenting or caregiving for school aged children are about to shift into a completely different gear…

HERE WE GO!

I know for myself, I always think that summer will be such a nourishing break, both from routine and from the rush, but I have had enough experience to realize it’s often busier in the summer, and that a constantly changing schedule requires even more preparation.

PRESSURE

I am the owner of my own business, so I do have some flexibility. In fact, that is one of the biggest perks of being an entrepreneur. So, at this time of year, I think “I have about 6 weeks to finish everything up for the year, prepare for my summer working schedule and plan for the fall so I can be present for my precious summer and my precious child.”

These summers with my daughter are a precious few.  She will soon be more interested in hanging out with her friends, and in time, focused on building her own life and family.

PRECIOUS CHILD

Sharing time with the children in our lives is a tremendous gift.  Nevertheless, the challenges and responsibilities of parenting are often arduous. Balancing caregiving and cultivating your child’s independence requires consciousness, focus, patience, discernment and compassion. This requires a lot of energy.

As parents we can often move into sacrifice, where our needs end up at the bottom of the to-do list. Personally, without my self-care practices I feel like a panicked chicken with my head about to be cut off!!

NOT AN EITHER/OR SITUATION

In truth caring for our children and caring for our selves is not an either/or situation. When we care for ourselves, we have the capacity to take good care of others. I have always appreciated the analogy of the oxygen masks in an airplane. The rule is, put your own mask on first and then your child’s. If we do it the other way around, we could pass out and we’d all be in trouble!

PRECIOUS YOU

Everything is Energy. It cannot be created or destroyed, only harnessed and transformed. WE are Energy, Vibration, Sound, and Light. The Sun, whether it is behind the clouds or shining down upon us, is a powerful source of energy. In the winter, when days are short, we can feel depleted and many people experience SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). As a yogi, throughout the dark winter I practice Sun Salutations and Tratakum (candle-gazing meditation) to remember the light within.

As the sunnier weather returns, we feel renewed. So much so that there can be a temptation to fill every moment of our long summer days with activity. Yet running too much energy can create crisis in the body such that we have trouble resting, and that leads to burnout. Just as we need sunblock and sunhats when it’s too sunny, regulating our energy flow can protect us from burning. As a yogi and meditator, Pranayama practice (breath techniques) helps to stabilize my energy states.

BOOK IT IN!

Women are often the planners for the family. If you are like me, the social schedule runs through you. The summer can be chock-full of plans; camps, cottages, BBQ’s, baseball games…you name it, the possibilities are endless.  So much fun to be had, but too much time with family and friends can also be overwhelming. If we want to enjoy our social time without burnout, we must schedule time for the Self.

Schedule time (without the kids) throughout the summer. Once a week plan a walk in the woods, a yoga class, or attend the monthly Women’s Wellness Circle near you to join other women committed to their wellness.  For maximum benefit, start a daily meditation practice. Even 5 minutes a day will create the space to listen to what it is we need in order to balance, replenish, recharge or release.

SIMPLE MINDFULNESS MEDITATION

Here is a simple daily mindfulness practice I put together:

-Put whatever is in your hands down (especially a cell phone!)

-Bring your attention to your body

-Notice the sensations moving through your body

-Allow them to be exactly what they are

-Notice and feel the sensation of your feet connecting to the ground

-Notice your sit bones and buttocks if you are sitting

-Invite your body to soften and release down to the earth beneath you

-Notice your breath

-Invite your belly to soften

-Receive the breath (Prana – Life force energy) deeply

-Release the breath fully

-Receive the gift of light from the sun and through the breath

-Release the breath through the body down to the earth

-Continue to receive and release staying present with each breath

-When the mind wanders, just notice without judgement, and bring your attention back as you receive the gift of your next breath.

 

FROM PRESSURE TO PRECIOUS

Only we can create that inner space for Self.  When we do, our time moves from pressure to preciouswith a renewable flow of energy to share our precious Self in the precious Sun alongside our precious Children.

 

-Tanya Porter

Founder and Living Arts Director of The Inner Space

www.theinnerspace.ca

mental health poem by terri klein womens wellness circle jill hewlett

Because May is mental health awareness month, I feel that it is essential to share this poem about the overthinking mind with youMy poem, A New Kind of Partnership, speaks to the importance of building and strengthening a new and healthier relationship with your mind. It has been proven that a trained mind can quiet an overthinking mind. 

 

 It greets me first every morning  

And also tucks me into bed 

It’s my constant companion 

The voice within my head 

 

I set every intention to lose it  

To give it wings—to set it free 

Yet it always chooses to stay 

And to inhabit ALL of me  

 

My overthinking mind is very much like yours 

I’m at its beck and call 

It orders, commands, and loves to take charge 

It’s not a program I would ever choose to install 

 

But evolution deemed this necessary  

To help me to survive  

Yet my wants are so much greater 

So now I’m choosing also to thrive  

 

I’ve had enough of my unhealthy stories 

I’ve had enough of “mind-made” me 

There is a greater vision  

That my future self can see  

 

Beyond the overthinking 

And all of my false truths 

Beyond the limiting beliefs 

That still remain with me from my youth  

 

Yes, I’ve suffered because I’ve been bullied 

Yet it is I who am to blame 

It is my self-created “stories of struggle” 

That constrict me time and again  

 

By the way, this realization  

Took years to unfold 

And I can promise you, without question 

That it is worth its weight in gold 

 

There is nothing more valuable 

Than a peaceful mind and an open heart 

Mind training is immeasurable 

And it’s the only place to start 

 

But it has to become a daily practice 

To rewrite your script and to rewire 

For you are teaching your miraculous brain 

completely new way to fire  

 

Remember, you’ve been using specific words 

Thinking specific thoughts, and behaving one way 

You’ve developed habits, good and bad 

That you’ve been living and supporting each day 

 

It’s the inner work that will lead you  

To overall ease and well-being 

There is nothing more transformative 

And ultimately freeing  

 

Than rewriting your most important stories 

And creating new versions of self 

And learning just how to prioritize  

Your state of mental health  

 

I’ve stopped needing to fix every part of me 

And everything I deem wrong in another 

I spend less time wanting for life to be different 

And so I’m a much better person and mother 

 

And so whatever life may throw my way 

I now have a tremendous toolkit with a golden key 

One that I can choose to open  

As needed—just for me 

 

So yes, it still greets me first every morning,  

And also tucks me into bed 

It remains my constant companion 

But it’s a new and improved voice within my head  

 

Because I have learned how to manage it 

And I continue to train it well  

My mind and I have developed a new partnership 

With a new and enriched life story to tell  

 

You too, can learn how to do this 

Your trained mind can be at your beck and call 

It will be kinder, gentler, and more mindful 

A program you would gladly choose to install! 

 

We have a duty to evolve the brain  

And a very real obligation 

To change collective consciousness 

For every future generation  

 

Essential? Absolutely 

Possible and doable? Oh yes 

The alternative…it’s not pretty 

Underlying unhappiness and chronic stress  

 

So let’s make this happen—  

One person at a time 

The responsibility needs to be shared 

For it is both yours and mine 

 

Sincerely, 

Terri Klein 

Author, Speaker, Coach 

www.newlife-chapterone.com 

self-care women's wellness circle toronto york region

What is self-care? The Oxford English Dictionary defines self-care as “The practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s well-being and happiness, in particular during times of stress.” So, it’s exactly what it sounds like: taking care of oneself. It’s an activity or practice that is embraced solely for the purpose of one’s well-being.

But what is a practice? It’s the actual application of an idea, belief, or method; as opposed to simply theorizing about to it. We have all heard the term self-care, but how many of us have a practice around it? Something we intentionally incorporate into our lives.

We all get caught up in our daily lives of work, kids, relationships, errands, aging parents, and more, so much so, that we often leave little time for ourselves. Mornings usually consist of some version of; hopping in and out of the shower, slapping on makeup in the car, getting everyone else out the door and eating breakfast (if we eat at all) while sitting at our desk. We’re very busy. There’s no time for self-care then.

Evenings are no better with supper, which perhaps you pick up on the way home, homework and dealing with the problems that the day has delivered to the rest of the family. Then you fall exhausted into bed. Again, no time there either.

Even the idea of self-care can feel indulgent when there are people relying on you. If you’re in this camp, and the very thought of putting yourself first makes you feel uncomfortable and selfish, think about when you are on a plane and the flight attendants go through the safety drill. They always say that if you are travelling with small children you should put your own mask on first. Why do they say that? It’s simple, you cannot care for others until you look after yourself.

What’s a Girl to Do?

Life is a whirlwind and there is clearly no time for self care, right?

But here’s the thing; if we don’t find the time or intentionally make the effort to care for ourselves we can become worn out, lack energy, lose perspective and be plagued by physical and mental ailments.

While it seems like there’s no time, what if I told you that by taking just five minutes a day for yourself, you can amplify your ability to accomplish everything else in your life. Five minutes spent on you will calm your mind, which allows you to approach everything else from a more abundant and balanced place.

Some Suggestions for Quick Five Minute Self Care Boosters:

  • Drink a cup of warm water upon rising
  • Go for a walk-in nature
  • Lie in Savasana for 5 minutes and just breathe
  • Express gratitude for who and what is in your life (gratitude has been proven to give both the giver and receiver the same heart-centered lift)
  • Dance around your living room to your favorite song
  • Meditate

Once you have incorporated five minutes of self-care into your life you can look for other opportunities to build on your practice.

  • Go to a women’s retreat weekend
  • Visit an old friend
  • Sign up for yoga or Tai Chi classes
  • Go to a Women’s Wellness Circle near you
  • Take a course or class in something that interests you
  • Read a good book

If you need some ideas on how to approach change and incorporate your own self-care practice, check out last month’s blog by Karen Armstrong.

Make Self-Care A Priority

Of all the changes you resolve to make in your life for the year ahead, make taking care of yourself your number one goal. The investment in yourself will give you an amazing rate of return. You will feel calmer and more ready to tackle the ups and downs of life. Your friends and family will also benefit from having a better you. And the calmness and grounding that self-care can give you showers out around you and can impact the lives of strangers. When you feel balanced and good it is easier to be kind to others, share your beautiful smile with strangers, and make their day a bit brighter.

Whether you do five minutes of self-care everyday or something else that feeds your soul, it doesn’t matter. It is about what works best for you, as long as you remember it is a practice and not just something you do when you’re exhausted.

If we think about it this way – self-care is not indulgence, it is a gift you give yourself and everyone around you.

Make today the day you start to care for yourself with the same love, kindness and forgiveness that you give to others. You are worth it.

To Your Health and Wellbeing,

Jill Erridge Certified Personal Trainer and Coach,

Active Aging Specialist.